The big "6"

Before I adopted Zen, I had all of these fairytale things planned for her. I thought that I had to make everything extra special for her because she has come from a "different" life. The truth is, everything has been completely normal and nothing more than I would do for Luna and Sole. Everyone gets a gift on each others birthday, not because we have to, but just because we want to. The cake thing was the day before her birthday, planned an hour before, same family members there to cut the cake (the ones that could make it on such a short notice). I decided to do it this way because on her actual birthday, we would stay at the hotel on the boardwalk, swim all day, play on the beach in between, get pizza and finish it off with a bath in a tub that the 3 of them could hardly fit in. They would have it no other way. Oh, and a surprise visit from Tia Vanessa. The day went awesome and we had so much fun. I realized that everything I do with the girls is special and I put everything I have into everyday. I kept questioning myself about the lack of a major celebration for Zen's first birthday with us. I also questioned myself about how I might have let Chinese New Year slip by unnoticed. I havent missed one since we have been on the adoption trail. I found out it was Chinese New Year when I looked at Jayden and YuPing's mothers blog. I saw the beautiful little angels celebrating the most important day of the year in their culture. I didn't mean to miss it and I cant believe I did, but all I can think is that I was tired. Tired, is what describes me best. My three girls have different needs and I have to make sure that I serve them well. Sole is learning to talk at almost 5 so therapies 2 times a week keep me running, Luna is reading and starting Math now, but I forgot to teach her to write. She can, but no thanks to me, so we are pounding out the writing thing every chance we get. Zen is like an alien that just landed here from another planet. She just imitates life forms and repeats everything she hears. She is also a cry baby and I don't know if that was because it worked in the orphanage or not, but it DOES NOT work here! I am not used to that and I cant take it. She also needs to be touching my skin somehow every minute of the day. It is very touching, but it gets old when you are standing there and a little person is rubbing her face all over your skin like a cat. Some days, I feel like I cant make it to the end of the day and have enough energy to bathe them, pajama them, get the cat out from underneath Zen's bed before she has a nervous breakdown, put Sole in her bed 50 times before she is asleep, read Luna Knuffle bunny for the 250,000 time, before it will be over. Then, it is on to the dishes, birds, cats, laundry and I'm supposed to fit facebook and my blog in there somewhere. Somehow, with all of this, I feel fortunate. Fortunate to have lived through a brain tumor, fortunate to have given birth to 2 amazing little beauties and fortunate because I was in a place in life that I could carry out an international adoption and make a difference for a child that was left on the side of the road in front of a steel plant. Some days are good and some days are great but everyday is so special. Some days, I just wish that the label on the Benedryl box didn't clearly state "not for use in sedating children"!