Fast Food Trap

I'm not sure how it happened, but I do believe that I am stuck in a fast food rut. I love to cook and I love to eat at the table as a family. I think it is one of the most important things that you can teach your children. Somehow, I end up taking a ride no where just to pass the time. You know the mothers salvation thing that we do. Strap them in the carseat and cruise around on tour of fast food restaurants. The only time I can rest is when I am in the car. It is like a nap that I have to stay awake for. I don't get to sit down ever, I have never laid down for a nap, not even once since my children were born. I have migraines everyday and I keep on rolling thru the day. I have this fantasy that I will check into a hotel for a whole day and just sleep (and eat) of course. I would just lay in bed so peaceful and happy. Then I wake up and realize that is never gonna happen so deal with it! I love my girls and I refuse to miss one second of their lives. I want to be there to see it all unfold. I know that I am obsessed, but I waited a long time to have children and I have seen the down fall of so many kids. It all stems from the parents not being there when their children really needed them. I don't want that to happen to my girls. I realize that there is always a chance that your child will go down the wrong path but I am willing to do whatever it takes to steer them otherwise. Now, back to the fast food trap. I need to get out of it. It is so hard because my children and myself all eat differently from each other and I am okay with that. Groceries have become so expensive and with the tons of waste, I feel its easier and more entertaining to got out. I have to take the first step back to home cooking. Its been really difficult since Zen came home because even more of my time is consumed in a day. I am going to sit down and plan a menu for the next week and see how I do. If we are out, then there is not much I can do but if we are home we will eat home cooked meals. You know there is alot to being a mother, alot more than we are ever prepared for. Why didn't the offer a class in school about how to be a mother and teach us about the obstacles that we would face. There should have been a class that told you that you will never ever sleep again after your child is born, that being a mother is like being on an island alone and hearing everyone else partying on the next island over. The class should have told us that we would seek comfort and companionship in food and finding a friend that mothers like you and shares your same values would take years and that is only if you are lucky. The teacher should have told us that once we are a mother, everything we are will no longer matter and that you will find out who you really are after you have children. That way, we could have taken life before children with grain of salt. Well, there was no class like that and there never will be because if there was, the worlds population would be half of what it is! We would find out who the real women are and who the posers are. We all know who we are and where we fall in all of this. Good moms have bad kids and good kids have bad moms and so on and so on. The moral of this story is this...Never give up on your children and never give up on your Mother because this is a lonely battlefield without our precious gifts from God, our mothers and our children.